Perhaps it’s one of those things that seems like a good idea at the time. Perhaps you’ve never seen The Shining. But if you’re contemplating a relationship with a writer, you need to know the good and the bad. There is no middle ground. Don’t say you weren’t warned.
10 Reasons to Date a Writer
10. We always make the coffee, because we’re the only ones who make it strong enough.
9. We usually have a well-stocked liquor cabinet.
8. Our highs are stratospheric.
7. We require lots of time alone, which ensures that you have time alone, too. You never have to worry about a writer being clingy. Go on. Seriously, go on. Now.
6. Details matter, so we research many different things in the course of writing a book, which means we’re treasure troves of trivia, which can come in handy for conversation and board games.
5. Along the same lines (i.e., details matter) . . . all those hot sex scenes? We like to try them out in person to make sure they’re physically possible. You’re welcome.
4. We have very vivid imaginations.
3. We help you with your proofreading needs, even if you don’t realize you have proofreading needs.
2. We take you places, dark and light, with our words.
1. Annnnd . . . the number 1 reason you should date a writer: Our weirdness is contagious.
10 Reasons to Run Like the Wind
10. Anything you say can—and will—be filed away for future use. You may not remember saying it. We’ll never forget it.
9. Similarly, those quirks in your personality or interesting verbal tics? Yep. Material.
8. We don’t like to be interrupted when we’re working, even if it’s going badly.
7. We’re always working, even if we’re not in front of our computers.
6. Sometimes we have a problem being present. You think I’m the one chopping that onion, but really it’s my main character, and I’m seeing everything through her eyes.
5. Our lows take us to the center of the earth.
4. We will turn on the light in the middle of the night to write down an idea. If we don’t have paper on the nightstand, we may write it on our arms. Or yours. Whatever’s handy.
3. We correct your grammar and pronunciation—mid-sentence—and if you put it in writing, we also correct your spelling and punctuation. We’re jerks that way.
2. We bounce from smug to insecure in a heartbeat.
1. Books. We have books. Where we go, they go. You’ll never be asked to pack or unpack them (we have a system), but you will be expected to help us move them.